What does it mean to “find time?” Can you “find time?” Is that even possible?
There are only twenty-four hours in a day no matter what. You can’t create more hours—no matter how much you wish that were possible or how hard you try.
Thus, when you’re already busy, “finding time” is going to seem like an exercise in futility. This is true even if you’re trying to do so to fit in taking care of your wants and needs or especially, just to have fun.
On the website, lifehacker.com, Shaun Blanc says in an article about finding time:
“The idea that you’ll passively just find time throughout the day is as silly as it sounds, and while this is just semantics, it’s still a mindset we all take. Blanc adds a little flavor to the above quote to show off the absurdity of it all: Many of us act as if we are trying to find the time. We are looking around, hoping there may be an hour or two just lying there not being spent.”
Since this is pie-in-the-sky hope for most, most of the time, Blanc contends we should simply cancel something less important when we need to find time, and just make whatever we need to find time for, happen.
In other words, Blanc is saying we need to “make time.”
When we refer to making time for something, of course, we aren’t talking about creating time. That’s no more likely to happen than is finding time. What we do mean here, is making time that you already have, available to YOU—instead of solely to others or other responsibilities.
The key to this is understanding YOU are as important – as well as your wants, needs, and desires – as anything or anyone else on your “to do” list. It’s not only “okay” to take care of yourself in this way, it actually makes you a better mom, partner/spouse, and even employee or boss if you also work outside of the home.
Sometimes, moms worry that this makes them look selfish if they cancel other duties, appointments, or engagements to make time for themselves. However, that could not be farther from the truth. You know how on airplanes, their safety speech before the flight takes off tells people that in case of an emergency, you are to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others put on theirs? That’s because if you are hurt, wiped out, or worse, taken out of the equation somehow… you can’t help anyone else.
This is no different. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t be the best you can be for the others in your life. Not to mention, you are not establishing your own value. After all, if you don’t show that you matter to you, how do you expect others to value you, your contribution, and your worth?
It’s also critical to remember that little ones are watching mom for guidance—as a role model for how to be and who to be in life. How would you feel if your children were learning from you that their needs and desires shouldn’t be of consequence to themselves or anyone else?
For their own good, and the good of future generations, it’s vital they understand that at least considering what is good for you, yourself, is just as important as doing the same for anyone else. So long as it doesn’t become the sole motivator in life, but is simply a consideration that’s as important as any other, it’s not selfish, just merely… wise.
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