Making friends as an adult – especially if you’re a busy mom who barely has any time to breath for yourself, much less to just go “hang out” – can be tough.
Or maybe not, says one FBI expert. He says that if you know what to do, making friends even as an adult can be easy. The key, he adds, is knowing what to do to get people to like you.
Why is this important? Why should you care about having or making friends?
Well, numerous studies and reports say that people who have at least a few close friends are happy, healthier, more secure, and actually have longer lives than those who don’t. Furthermore, there is little that can save us from a bad day – when we might be so frustrated with our job or even family that we feel like pulling our hair out – than a chat or night out with a good friend.
Maybe you’ve disconnected with some of your friends since becoming a partner or mom? Perhaps you’ve been so tied up with your family or job that you’re looking around and realizing that you don’t have may – or even any – that you would truly call “a good friend.” Well, if you want and are ready to change that, it doesn’t have to be difficult or painful.
Below are 5 ways he says you can get people to like you quickly and easily.
- Ask questions about the other person, listen to the answers, and don’t judge.
Nearly all humans love to talk about themselves and we naturally feel more fondly about those who let us do it. If we feel the other person is truly listening and not judging us based on what we are sharing, it increases intimacy even more. Thus, if you’re trying to make a friend, ask questions about the other person, listen to what they’re saying, and make a conscious effort not to make or provide your own opinions.
- Suspend your ego.
Fight the urge to always be right, especially when trying to make a friend. Who really cares who’s right or wrong? There isn’t a “most-right, most of the time” award given out in life. On the other hand, constantly asserting your authority is a sure turn-off to others.
- Ask this question: “What do you need to talk about? What’s challenging you?”
This kind of goes hand in hand with #1. Allowing someone to share their deepest thoughts, fears, and feelings, enhances and strengthens their connect to you naturally.
- Make first contact and meetings super short.
This should be easy to understand–always leave people wanting to be around you more… not wishing you would go away. To make this even more effective, let them know in advance your time is limited. If you’re not already acquainted, it helps diminish apprehension or resistance. If you are, it amps the desire for more of your time and hence, more of you.
- Build rapport by matching body language.
A time-tested strategy for deepening a relationship with another is to match their body language when communicating with them. Additionally, there are some other basic body language techniques you can utilize to help you make friends faster and easier as well. Some examples include leaving your palms up when talking, smiling often, and leaving chin at a downward angle.
Of course, there is no magic formula for making new friends. However, these strategies are time-tested and have been effective. If you are looking to make a new acquaintance, or deepen an existing connection, these ideas might help. Of course, there’s always a long lunch by the beach or mountains – or the always-effective – spa day as well. Whatever works…